| Lafayette O'Leary, Laumer |
| 1 | THE TIME BENDER (First part(book 1)) 1966 Chapter I Lafayette O'Leary came briskly up the cracked walk leading to Mrs. MacGlint's Clean Rooms and Board, reflecting on his plans for the evening: First, he'd grab a quick bite, then check to see how his plastics experiment was coming along; after that, a look in on his penicillium notatum NRRL 1249.B21 culture, and then . . . He hefted the weighty book under his arm. |
| 2 | Professor Hans Joseph Schimmerkopf's book on mesmerism ought to be good for at least a week of evenings. As O'Leary put foot on the sagging veranda, the front screen door popped wide open. A square figure five feet eleven in height confronted him, a heavy-duty broom held at port arms. "Mr. O'Leary! What's that mess you've got percolating on my hot plate back in my third-best western exposure?" Lafayette retreated a step. |
| 3 | "Did I leave my polymers cooking, Mrs. MacGlint? I thought I turned them off—" "Them fumes has faded the colors right out of the wallpaper! Not to say nothing about running up the electric bill! I'll put it on your bill, Mr. O'Leary!" "But—" "And all this reading at night! Burning light bulbs like they was free! My other boarders don't set up all hours, studying Lord knows what in them un-Christian books you got!" She eyed the volume under O'Leary's arm with unmistakable hostility. |
| 4 | "Say, Mrs. MacGlint," O'Leary edged back up on the porch, "a funny thing happened last night. I was running a little statistical study, using ball bearings, and I happened to drop a couple of them—three-quarter-inchers—and they all rolled right to the northwest corner of the room—" "Prob'ly marked up my linoleum, too! And—" "I knew the floors slanted but I hadn't noticed how much," Lafayette gained another foot. |
| 5 | "So I made a few measurements. I'd say there's a two-inch discrepancy from wall to wall. I knew you'd want to know, because Section Four, Article 19 of the Building Code—the part that covers Hazardous Conditions Due to Settlement of Foundations—is pretty clear. Now, the inspector will have to check it, of course, and after the house is condemned and the roomers find other quarters, then maybe they can save the place by pumping in concrete. |
| 6 | That's pretty expensive, but it's better than breaking the law, eh, Mrs. MacGlint?" "Law?" The landlady's voice squeaked. "Building Code? Why, I never heard such nonsense . . ." "Do you want to report it, or shall I? I know you're awfully busy, keeping everybody's affairs in order, so . . ." "Now, Mr. O'Leary, don't go to no trouble . . ." Mrs. MacGlint backed through the door; Lafayette followed into the gloom and cabbage aroma of the hall. |
| 7 | "I know you got your science work you want to get to, so I won't keep you." She turned and puffed off along the hall. O'Leary let out a long breath and headed up the stairs. On the shelf behind the curtain in the former broom closet which served Lafayette as kitchen alcove were a two-pound tin of salt-water taffy, a cardboard salt shaker, a ketchup bottle, a can of soup and two tins of preserved fish. |
| 8 | He didn't really like sardines, he confessed to himself, unwrapping a succulent taffy. Too bad they didn't can consomm au beurre blanc Hermitage. Tend-R Nood-L Soup would have to do. He started warming a saucepan of soup, took a beer from the foot-square icebox and punched a triangular hole in the lid. He finished off the candy, then the beer, waiting for the pot to boil, then set out a bowl, poured the soup and put two sardines on a cracker. |
| 9 | Munching, he picked up his book. It was a thick, dusty volume, bound in faded dark blue leather, the cramped gilt letters on the spine almost illegible. He blew the dust away and opened it with care; the old binding crackled. The title page announced: Mesmerism, Its Proper Study and Practice; or The Secrets of the Ancients Unlocked. By Herr Professor Doktor Hans Joseph Schimmerkopf, D.D., Ph.D., Litt. |
| 10 | D., M. A., B. Sc., Associate Professor of Mental Sciences and Natural Philosophy, Homeopathic Institute of Vienna. 1888. O'Leary riffled through the tissue-thin pages of fine print; pretty dry stuff, really. Still, it was the only book on hypnotism in the library that he hadn't already read, and what else was there to do? O'Leary looked out the narrow window at the sad late-afternoon light, yellowing into evening. |
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